Finding the Joy and Happiness in Everything I do…

Thanksgiving is over and it’s almost time to go back to work.  The past four days flew by!  It took me a few minutes to even remember what I did on Friday.  Despite not being at home with my family, I had a wonderful Thanksgiving with friends.    I have much to be thankful for.

I managed to keep a very full workout schedule, although I did not do this on purpose.  I took the opportunity to take the extra time I had this week to try some new classes at the gym.  So every day, I picked a class from the schedule and tried it out.  Wednesday was Sports Conditioning which was a brutal but a fantastic workout.  This class normally would have intimidated me because there were so few women and so many buff looking guys that just looked hard core.  But it was great.  On Thanksgiving, I tried BodyStep and Zumba and promptly fell in love with Zumba.  It was so much fun that I didn’t want the class to end.  The petite Latina instructor had so much great energy and hips that moved like none other!  She was great, had fun and exuded such a great confidence!   I took Bodyflow too, but I don’t remember which day and then I took another Zumba class with a different instructor who was also fantastic.  So now, I’m trying to work my schedule around these classes, but my darn job keeps getting in the way!

I did eat a lot this Thanksgiving, but I didn’t go overboard.  I think what is helping is that instead of feeling like I’m on a diet or that I HAVE to do cardio, I’ve been really trying to find joy and happiness in what I am doing.  That has made all the difference in the world.  I told myself that I would NOT feel guilty about indulging a little bit.  I was going to enjoy and savor every bite and be HAPPY!   Yes HAPPY!   I will be HAPPY if it KILLS ME!   Ha ha!!!  Okay … now I’m sounding crazy.

Anyway, there is no way I could work out 4 hours a day or wake up at 3:30 AM if I didn’t like what I was doing.  I wouldn’t be able to teach 5 spin classes a week if I didn’t like it.   Yes, it helps to pay the bills, but the members would not pack into my class every week if they sensed that I didn’t want to be there.  So, I make the effort to really enjoy what I do.  If I don’t feel like I’m particularly perky on any given day, I fake it until it comes.   And it always does. 

There is also no way that I could stay on such a clean diet and maintain my weight if I really didn’t love the foods I eat.  The only problem is I wish I was allowed more, but everything in moderation.  I’ve also been researching furiously for healthy options to my favorite recipes and there is SO much out there.  I’ve found some really great recipes and dishes, some of which I’ve published on my blog and on Facebook. 

So, although I ‘m already starting, I really want to focus on finding the joy in the things that I do.   I want to make 2010 a really fantastic year where my wildest dreams come true and I truly feel joy and happiness.  It actually takes practice to do that.  There are plenty of moments through the day where I start to let something that someone says bother me or someone else’s crappy mood starts to affect my own.  I have to make an effort to push those feelings aside and find something to be grateful about.  And there is always something to be grateful about in every situation. 

So, I hope to you all also try to find the joy and happiness in every moment of every day.  It’s there.  We ALL just need to take a moment and find it.

I’m a Cooking Fool!!

It’s the day AFTER Thanksgiving and now I do ALL my cooking!  The good thing is that the grocery stores were deserted and so was the gym.  I thought it would be packed with people trying to burn of calories, but I guess not?  I did 45 minutes on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the stairmill.   The girl next to me was going so fast that she was running on the stepmill.  I’ve never gone that fast and I wondered to myself, why not?  So, I upped the speed and did it.  Boy was it hard, but I did it.  It just proves to me that I need to push myself more.

I also made sure not to take home any leftovers from Thanksgiving.  I did my grocery shopping and stocked up only on foods on my comp diet.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Well, I am trying a couple of new recipes so I have a few extra ingredients that I don’t normally have, but still very healthy.

Today, I tried out 2 new healty recipes.  The first was a cabbage/beef stew.  Here’s the recipe:

Ingredients:
1 lb. extra lean ground beef (I used 96% lean ground round)
1/2 T olive oil, to brown the meat in. If your meat is not extra lean, you can omit the oil and drain the fat
1 large sweet onion, chopped
1 large clove of garlic, minced

Brown all of the above in a large pan. Add seasonings, generously, to taste: onion powder, garlic powder, black pepper, sea salt, dash of cayenne, 1/2 tsp thyme.  (I think I may have used too much onion?)

Add two 8-oz cans of tomato sauce and half a can of water. (I changed this by cooking a bunch of tomatoes and then putting them in the food processor.  I don’t like the sodium content of canned tomatoes or tomato sauce.)

While that’s simmering for 15 minutes or so, chop up a raw cabbage. I got a relatively small cabbage, maybe 7″ across. If you have a big one, don’t use the whole thing for this. You want about 4 or 5 cups of cabbage, raw. Chop it in half, core it, then slice it lengthwise and then crosswise about 1″ apart so you get 1″ squares. Throw that into the pot of beef and cover it. Lower the heat and cook for about 45 min to an hour, until the cabbage is all tender and soft. Stir it every so often and add a little water halfway through… maybe 1/4 cup or so. It should be saucy, but not soupy. Not dry at all. Add water as needed.  (Note: I used a whole cabbage since I like cabbage and more veggies is better than less, I say!)

This made a huge pan of food, and 1/4 of the pot had just under 250 calories. Amazing. That’s the wonder of extra lean ground round. (You may have to figure more calories if you use fattier beef. Ground turkey is good in there, too). It’s warming and soothing and comforting, so delicious. I put a little dab of light sour cream on mine. Delicious!

Next, onto a healthy dessert.  This is the EFL recipe for pumpkin cheesecake.  I haven’t tried it yet, it’s still cooling in my fridge.

Pumpkin Cheesecake (page 215. Eating-for-LIFE)

2 cups low-fat ricotta cheese (I just used one 7 oz. container which is actually only 1 ¾ cups)

1 can (15 oz.) pure pumpkin (don’t use pie filling… PURE pumpkin/pumpkin puree only)

½ cup sugar free maple syrup

5 tbsp. sugar substitute (I used granular Splenda…and mine were heaping tbsp.’s)

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 tsp. pumpkin pie spice

¾ cup vanilla protein powder (whey or soy)

1 Ready Crust reduced-fat graham cracker crust.  You can add Cool Whip Free if you want.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In a large mixing bowl combine all ingredients and mix well on low/med speed. (I used my food processor on a low speed).  Pour into pie pan or spoon mixture into individual muffin cups and smooth out tops with back of spoon. Bake for 40 min (until toothpick comes out clean). Remove from oven & allow to cool 15 minutes, then refrigerate at least 2 hours. Serve with a dollop of whip cream.

 

Nutrition facts from thedailyplate.com…

www.thedailyplate.com/nutrition-calories/food/eating-for-life-bill-phillips/pumpkin-cheesecake

*Based on 1/8 of recipe. If you make smaller slices or the 12 mini’s then the calories, etc. are lower obviously.

And of course, I cut up and cooked my steamed veggies to have on the side of all my meals! 

Either on Saturday or Sunday, I plan to make butternut squash macaroni and cheese and my flourless brownies!  Can’t wait

Next!

I’m already thinking about my next competition and what I want to do differently.  I think I am going to have my suit maker make this suit for me.  I really like the turquoise and I like the peacock stones. 

Everything In Moderation….

I made these brownies last night and they were sooo good!  So good in fact that I only have 2 left!  I need to get rid of them quickly!!!

Recipe for Flourless Brownies (with a secret ingredient)

Makes 16

No one will ever guess the secret ingredient in this recipe: black beans!

Ingredients

1 (15-ounce) can no-salt-added black beans, drained and rinsed
3 large eggs
1/3 cup melted butter, more for the baking dish
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1/8 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon gluten-free vanilla extract
1/2 cup plus 2 tablespoons cane sugar
1/2 cup gluten-free semi-sweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup finely chopped walnuts

Method

Preheat oven to 350°F.

Butter an 8-inch baking pan. Place the black beans, eggs, melted butter, cocoa powder, salt, vanilla, and sugar in the bowl of a food processor and blend until smooth. Remove the blade and carefully stir in the chocolate chips and walnuts. Transfer mixture to the prepared pan. Bake the brownies for 30 to 35 minutes, or until just set in the center. Cool before cutting into squares.

Nutrition

Per serving (1 brownie/about 2oz/60g-wt.): 160 calories (80 from fat), 9g total fat, 4g saturated fat, 50mg cholesterol, 35mg sodium, 17g total carbohydrate (2g dietary fiber, 12g sugar), 4g protein

Holiday Plan of Attack!

FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS!!!!

We are entering the DANGER ZONE!  Yup, that’s right.  It’s *GASP* the Holiday Season where we binge, eat & drink and be merry!   And the latest statistic say that the average person gains one pound over the holidays.  One pound?  Are ya freakin’ serious?  That is NOT right.  I would average that to be anywhere from 5-10 pounds.  I don’t know what those statiticians are smoking, but it’s not a measly pound.

So I’ve taken it upon myself to make this a game.  To challenge myself to stay on track and to reward myself every step of the way.  I get extra points for working out, which is a no brainer for me, and HUGE bonus points for staying on diet.  That’s the hard part.   I win IF and only IF  I don’t gain weight but lose weight come January 1st.  It can be as little as a pound, but it’s got to be something.

So, the plan of attack this week is to keep myself busy and out of the refrigerator.  I’ve got no money until Friday so I can’t buy junkfood.  I’ve only got clean food in my house.  I also plan to do a ton of exercise this week.  I’m going to try to take a lot of new classes to keep me busy and to burn extra calories. 

 Tonight, I’m going to the gym to get a little extra cardio in. 

Tomorrow will be my usual morning workout and then BodyPump and BodyFlow in the evening. 

Wednesday – normal morning workout and Sports Conditioning in the evening which I heard is one of the most brutual classes offered at Golds.

Thursday – Thanksgiving – I’ll be doing 3, yes 3 hours of classes!  Zumba, BodyStep and BodyPump!  Woo-Hoo! 

Friday – Normal morning workout adding in track work; depending on how I feel, I may go back in the evening for yoga.

Saturday – I’m teaching a 90 minute spin class.  Weights and track sprints before class.

Sunday – track work and 60 minutes of spinning.

That should do it!  And it should account for some of the extra calories I’ll be consuming although I plan to totally stuff myself with water, green veggies and miracle noodles before I go out so that there’s hardly any room left to eat bad stuff!

Puke?

Happy….

I love this song by Leona Lewis

How Did You Do It?

“How did you do it?”

I get asked this question a lot.  When I explain to my friends what I did to prepare for a competition, most stare at me in utter disbelief.  The next thing that comes out of their mouths is “I could never do that.”  Well…. Of course you can.  It’s not impossible.  I NEVER in my wildest dreams thought I would be able to do this, but I did.  Me – the Queen of Sweets, Lover of Chocolates and All Things Peanut Butter!  Yes, I did it.  But I did not do it all at once.  It is a CONSTANT struggle.  Every day presents itself with many, many choices.  I have to constantly remind myself of what it is that I want, what goals I am trying to reach and I ask myself (1) How bad do I want this? and (2) Will this choice bring me further away or closer to my goal?  That’s how I do it.

I also need constant visualization.  I plaster pictures of my dream bodies everywhere.  On my fridge, on my computer, next to my bedside. I have to be constantly reminded so I don’t stray from my plan.  I’ve also found little tricks that have helped me along the way to combat hunger and food cravings.  Things like eating TONS of green veggies – so much that I feel like I want to explode – making protein brownies or drinking tea with splenda to combat my sweet cravings.  I also try to NEVER cheat.  I don’t ask for a cheat meal.  I don’t want one.  It messes with my body. 

When I start dieting, I am never 100%.  It takes awhile to get there.  I inevitably cheat a little bit every day when I start out. It’s the cream in my coffee.  The little biscotti that I sneak here and there.  Another cup of coffee with cream.  A slice of bread.  Each day, I cut more and more out.  Of course, there are slip ups here and there, but it is a gradual process until I get to the point where I don’t crave anymore or I know how to handle the problem.

I’ve gotten down to eating my salads plain or with just plain balsamic vinegar.  Not vinegarette – VINEGAR.  The sour, tears in your yes, pucker-mouth vinegar.  And you know what?  I like it.  I didn’t at first, but something magical happens.  Your taste buds begin to change and you can actually TASTE food.  Did you know that balsamic vinegar has quite a sweetness to it?  Did you know that zuchinni has a really sweet taste?  Did you know that I can tell the difference between eating bland regular chicken and bland organic chicken?  Or that grilling asparagus brings out the sweetness in that veggie as opposed to steaming it?  I won’t even tell you how sweet strawberries, blueberries and oranges taste to me.  It’s like the sweetness of ice cream.  You can’t figure out this things until you cleanse your palate of all the junk and artificial crap.  Real food has plenty of taste to it.  It is not bland.  It’s actually quite wonderful. 

This is truly a journey.  I didn’t do this overnight, but I love where I am now and I hope to continue on this path for a long, long time.

My trip to Brazil! Sort of….

Another re-post from November 2008 before my first competition…

So, here we are – 4 days out. Third day of my carb depletion diet. Veteran’s Day couldn’t have come at a better time. I am absolutely spent, exhausted, tired, fatigued… There aren’t enough words to explain how tired I am.

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My brain is so totally fried right now, that I actually totally and completely forgot that I had parked and left my car out on the street for more than a day. I parked it when I realized the gym was open yesterday as I was driving by and just walked home and completely forgot about it. Until of course, I was walking to the gym this morning and noticed a car parked on the road that looked suspiciously familiar. Wait a second… that car is the same make and model, but it also has the same stickers…OMG! I left my car out here all day! I must have at least 4 parking tickets! (I only had 1 – thank God!). But, I just couldn’ t believe that my mind was so gone that I had completely forgotten my car. Thank goodness I don’t have children. Who knows where I would have left them.

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So after the gym this morning and safely parking my car back in the garage in my spot, I got ready to go to the spa for my manicure, pedicure and waxing. I took 4 advil before I left. I went to L’Vida Spa in Alexandria. I’ve actually been there twice before and I really like it. I feel like the staff are very professional and friendly and that’s important, especially when you are going in there for a Brazilian wax.

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So, I got there and we started with my wax first. The technician that greeted me was pretty and nice. She asked me to take off my skirt and panties and waited while I did it (which was a little unnerving). I then got up on the table and she proceeded with the waxing. She asked me if my skin color was natural and I told her that I was tanning to compete in a figure competition. She thought that was totally neat. She asked questions about my diet and told me she needed to lose weight – she was as thin as a pencil – and I told her it was all about diet. She said she loved food too much to lose a lot of weight. I sympathized with her until … Ouch! Oh God, if this first strip of wax pulling was any indication of how bad it was going to be, I think she’s going to need to hit me in the head with a bat before she continues. She was quick and before I knew it she had stripped 3 more areas. Ouch! Ouch! and Ouch! She looked at me each time I flinched and I had to explain that this was my first time.

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“Oh, yes. It always hurts the first time.”

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Gee – thanks.

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“I guess I should have started with a regular bikini wax before I dove right in and got a Brazilian,”I said sheepishly.

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She nodded. Well, alrighty then.

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It actually wasn’t that bad. Once she did an initial area, it seemed that the area numbed up quickly and it wasn’t as painful the more she waxed. Off and off the hair came. Unfortunately, my hair was a little too…hmmmm…how should we say it… thick in a certain area… and it was too painful for me, so we didn’t take the whole thing off. We just left a neat litte landing strip.

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I was ready to jump up and head out the door when she said, “Now, turn over on your stomach.”

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Oh yeah, right. I forgot about that. I guess I don’t want to argue. I don’t want butt hair peeking out of my suit. So, I got over on my stomach and she proceeded to tell me to spread my butt cheeks. Great. This is getting better and better. But suprisingly, it didn’t hurt as much there. I was out a few minutes later.

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Next was my manicure and pedicure. We started with the pedicure. I like the lady Anna-mia who does my pedicure, but I have this guilty feeling every time I get a pedicure. Anna works really hard to slough off that dead skin off my feet. I feel like I should be apologizing. She physicially sweats and has to wipe sweat from her head when she does my pedicure.

Am I the only one that gets the giggles when getting a pedicure? I held in this time, but I almost let it slip out. Giggle…

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“Oh no! You cut?” She held up my left foot and pointed to my heel.

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“Well, um, yeah, kind of…” I said.

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“No, bad to do that” she told me.

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See – I have to explain. My feet have always been kind of tough and the calluses just grow like crazy. My mom’s feet are the same way. It builds up almost a quarter inch of calluses and you could light a match under my foot, and I wouldn’t feel it. But sometimes, especially in winter, it gets so dry that I use my little cuticle scissors and start to cut it off. A disgusting habit – a secretly, single dirty habit ans Carrie Bradshaw would say. Sometimes, I am obsessive about it. But I secretly love it. Anyway, I couldn’t hide this from Anna-mia so I confessed.

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She repeated, “No, very bad.”

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She proceeded to slough off the dead skin and put wonderfully smelling lotions and other potions on my legs and feet. That combined with the bubbling water and the massage chair was enough to put me to sleep. Almost. When she was done, she asked me to feel me foot. Yup, as smooth as a baby’s butt.

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“You no have to do polish. You can come for this only. Just call.”

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I assured her that next time I would. How embarassing! That on top of the fact that I had to explain to her that I had tanning solution on my feet that wouldn’t come off – so my feet weren’t dirty, they were just tanned. I have no idea if she understood me. English is obviously not her first language.

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Next, to the manicure. I got a french manicure. For some reason, I thought manicurists had this special way of getting the nice curve, but nope, she just had a steady hand. I think I could probably do it on my own next time, although the whole manicure experience is really nice. I love her massages so much that I almost asked her out on a date.

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Terry arrived just in a nick of time. I was sitting in front of the manicure fans waiting for the polish to dry. He came over and kissed me on the cheek.

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“So, how was the waxing?” he eagerly whispered in my ear.

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“Can I tell you when we leave?” I hissed back.

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“Yeah, yeah,” he responded.

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Once in the car, I told him about my waxing experience and explained to him that not all of the hair was gone down there, but most of it was.

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When I got home, I showed him her handiwork and the first thing he said was “Wow, I thought it was all going to be gone!”

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“Did I not just explain to you that we left a little landing patch? And take a good look, it is almost all gone.”

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There was hardly 5% of the hair left and everything else was smooth sailing. When he took a closer look, he agreed that wow, yes it was nice and everything was just about gone. Gee, thanks for your sympathy while I went through the rings of hell for this!!!

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Just kidding… Well, I got my entertainment for the day. I slept the rest of the afternoon. Gotta head to the gym soon. Just 3 more days of this form of torture….

The Real Me…

I wrote this entry in my journal a couple of weeks before my very first competition in November 2008.

The Real Me…

“One thing that I did not expect to experience through this journey was how emotional I was going to be. Yes, I knew that I would be moody and I would be tired. I also knew that my body would be physically exhausted. But, I also came to the realization that I did use food for comfort. I didn’t think I was one of those people. Those small chocolate chip cookies, that fruit parfait, all those foods with sugar did make my mood mellow out. Without out it, my real emotions came to the surface and I had to learn to deal with the consequences. People called me moody and my fiance said that he couldn’t wait until after the competition when I am back to being “normal”. But I think that this is “normal” and I’ve just been supressing my emotions with food. I am extremely selfish with my time. I have little patience for people that I find to ask stupid questions or not to use common sense.

I don’t like being bothered when people just want to talk about “nothing”. I quickly end conversations on the phone when I feel that the conversation is going in the “nothing” direction. I cry easily and get angry easily when I feel I am being threatened. I say mean things and things that I regret when I don’t take the time to sort out my feelings. I like being alone most of the time and not being bothered by the outside world. I need my time to reflect in my thoughts. People don’t understand that. I don’t know what’s going happen after the competition. Will I go back to being my “normal” self? I think I am going to be extremely depressed when I start gaining the weight back. Some part of me wants to continue my diet and training the exact same way so that I don’t gain weight. I don’t know if this is a mindset that I should be worried about.

The word obsessed is sometimes used around me. I don’t think I’m obsessed. I am dedicated. When I make up my mind to do something, I do it. God help the people that stand in my way. I can’t stand it when people tell me all their grandiose ideas and it becomes obvious that they have no plan of action to implement their dreams. Yes, it’s great that they have dreams, but it is equally disappointing when I find that that’s all they have. For instance, when I first met my fiance, he proudly declared that he was going to be rich one day. “I am going to be a millionaire by the time I’m 40″, he proudly told me. Did he have a plan of how he was going to do that? Nope. “I’ll find some way,” was his only response. I was deeply disappointed in that response because I know plenty of people that have that mind set and I don’t care for it. I don’t make bold declarations like that without thinking it through. If I said I was going to be a millionaire, I better have some idea of how I was going to get there. I said I was going to be a lawyer – I made a plan and I am a lawyer today. I said I was going to run a marathon – I researched the training, joined a great group and today have completed 3 full marathons. I told myself, “One day I will teach spinning.” Today, I teach 5 classes a week. I told myself, “One day I will compete in a figure competition.” That day will be in 2 weeks. That may seem a little harsh, but I don’t think most people really think about what they want and how they will achieve their dreams. They give up at the first signs of failure. What they don’t know is that what they perceive is “failure” is really a lesson that will teach them the next step for achieving success.

I am not perfect and I don’t want this to seem like a rant of how much better I am than everyone else. I am not. Every person has their own story; their own history that may dictate their actions. I have no idea what different people experience. There may be emotional trauma behind certain people’s actions and I have no right to judge. This is what I need to remind myself of because at any moment, my life my change dramatically and I may not be the person that I think I am. I am grateful for all the wonderful blessings I have had in my life. I am so fortunate to have the family and friends that I have who truly care and love me, no matter what. I want to thank them all, for without them, I would not be who I am today. With all my flaws, I still love being me.”

Almost 2 weeks out!

Why does the mere thought of going to Vitamin Shoppe make me all giddy?  I want to stock up on anything and everything that will make me leaner and meaner.  I want to try out different flavors of protein and pre-workout shakes.  I want some new magic elixer that will magically make me drop the pounds.  Sometimes, I just want a protein bar, dang it!  

Yesterday, I strode into Vitamin Shoppe and I was the only customer in there.  Hmmm?! The two employees were at the back of the store and one said “Can I help you, miss?” 

I replied, “You sure can!” and rattled off the items I needed. 

“Ok,” the employee replied. 

The employee walked to a couple of shelves picked off some items and walked to the counter.  I followed him and eyed the prices on the shelf.  “Wait.  That protein powder says it’s only 20 bucks online.  Isn’t it on sale?”

“Let me check,” he replied.

A few computer key clicks later, he said “It’s on sale on the website so I’ll mark it down.” 

Well, why wasn’t it marked down already?  You need to know the secret lingo, apparently.

So, I happily grabbed my bag of purchases and headed home as happy as can be!  I don’t know why it makes me happy, it just does!